Anxiety seems pretty unavoidable these days—whether you’re a parent or a child, you’re probably experiencing it at least every once in a while. But what’s the difference for children, in particular, between run-of-the-mill anxiety and we-should-see-a-therapist anxiety? It’s a tough question to answer—especially knowing how prevalent anxiety is now: it is one of the most commonly diagnosed mental disorders in children, affecting around 9% to 10% of children, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

Therapy is often considered to be the most effective way to treat anxiety in children. However, traditional in-person therapy may not always be accessible or feasible, or even the best choice for your child. Fortunately, online therapy for anxiety can offer the same benefits as in-person therapy, while removing many of the barriers that can prevent parents and children from receiving the help they need. Many parents actually find that online therapy works better for their child.

We spoke with Sheryl Ziegler, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist and founder and managing director of The Child & Family Therapy Center at Lowry, to get her insights into how to know if your child needs therapy, the benefits of online therapy for anxiety, and how to find a child therapist who specializes in anxiety. 

How to know if my child needs therapy for anxiety?

Everyone deals with some feelings of worry or anxiousness from time to time. But when these feelings begin to affect your child’s everyday life, it may be time to get professional help.

According to Dr. Ziegler, common signs that it's time to look into therapy for your child's anxiety include:

• Bedwetting, nightmares, and difficulty around falling asleep and staying asleep
• Frequent temper tantrums, outbursts, and difficulty being calmed or soothed
• Separation anxiety, clinginess, and tearful goodbyes
• Excessive worry and fears as compared to other children of the same age
• Asking for help or saying that there is something wrong with their brain

However, she adds that all children with anxiety can benefit from therapy.

How to find a child anxiety therapist

When searching for a child anxiety therapist, it’s important to consider the type of therapy that your child may need. "Children aged eight years and younger should be in play therapy, while children aged nine and older can benefit from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for anxiety," explains Dr. Ziegler.

When searching for a therapist, consider reaching out to the following people for recommendations:

• Your child's pediatrician or primary medical doctor
• Close family and friends
• You child's school's guidance counselor
• Local parenting groups

You can also find licensed therapists online at Hopscotch, which offers online and in-person therapy sessions covered by most insurance plans. This means no long waiting periods or complicated payment plans to get your child the specific treatment they need for their anxiety. Simply enter your location and insurance or payment type to see the available therapists for children and teens.

“No matter which route you choose, keep in mind that therapy is all about fit, so if one person isn’t the right connection for your child, keep looking,” advises Dr. Ziegler. 

Benefits of online therapy for anxiety

Therapy can be an important tool to help children learn to manage their anxiety. Not only can it help uncover and address the underlying cause of your child’s anxiety, but it can also provide them with coping strategies and tools for managing these thoughts and feelings in a healthy way.

For children with anxiety, online therapy is often a more effective option than traditional in-person therapy for many reasons.

According to Dr. Ziegler, some benefits of online therapy for anxiety include:

• Accessibility: Online therapy reduces barriers to treatment such as after school schedules, distance, and transportation.
• Convenience: Online sessions just require a computer or phone, along with Wi-Fi or internet connection. Sessions can be done from anywhere, including a car, making it extremely convenient for both the parents and the child. Parents can also come in and out as needed while tending to other kids or work.
• Less intimidating: Some children are more comfortable doing online therapy than in-person therapy. These children are able to open up more easily from the comfort and privacy of their own home. They can even surround themselves with whatever makes them feel the most comfortable, such as stuffed animals or a certain blanket.
• More connection topics: Home-based sessions allow the therapist to use the child's home as a way to connect, like seeing their family pet, bedroom, and favorite toys. This can make the child feel more comfortable and give them an opportunity to connect with the therapist on a deeper level.
• Flexibility: Online therapy allows for more flexible hours and location. It also removes sickness as a barrier, making it easier to schedule and keep appointments. And we know how important this is for parents juggling so many things at all times.

What should you expect during online therapy sessions?

Initial online therapy sessions for children with anxiety are usually spent breaking the ice and getting to know each other. This is also a time to start building some trust between one another. In some cases, the therapist may be able to identify where the child wants some support from the initial session. However, this can sometimes take two to three video sessions, Dr. Ziegler explains. 

At the end of each session, there is usually a discussion of what the therapist and child will work on in the coming weeks. This may include strategies for calming down during difficult times, or some type of role-playing that the child and therapist can practice.

It's important to remember that managing anxiety is a process and it does not happen overnight. However, with the help of online therapy, you can provide your child with the support they need to work through their anxious thoughts and learn how to better manage them.

Additional resources

• Data and Statistics on Children’s Mental Health, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention